Rainbow Reviews

BOOK BLURB:
Miller Sutton, a by-the-book FBI agent, is starting to see some troubling shades of gray in his black-and-white world. He comes face-to-face with his doubts in the person of Danny Butler, a mid-level drug runner Miller hopes to use to catch a much larger fish: Roberto Hinestroza, a drug lord Miller has pursued for years.

Danny has no interest in being a witness against his boss, both out of a sense of twisted loyalty and because he knows double-crossing Hinestroza is a sure death sentence. But he reluctantly agrees to cooperate, and as he suspects, it doesn’t take long for Hinestroza to figure out the betrayal.

Miller is surprised to discover Danny's not the career-criminal lowlife he expected; at the same time, Danny finds himself helplessly attracted to Miller's innate goodness. They barely begin to explore the sparking attraction between them when Hinestroza's hitman tracks them down, and then they're on the run, both for their lives and for any kind of love.

BOOK REVIEW:
How damaged can you become by trying to do the right thing while suppressing your most secret desires no matter the cost?

How can you find redemption after one wrong decision leads to a life that you may not have chosen at the time, but is all you know now?

Danny Cutler, a mid-level drug runner, and Miller Sutton, mid-level FBI agent, meet at what could be termed the perfect storm of their life. Miller has begun questioning his impersonal approach and the ethics involved with bringing down crime lords. Danny is not interested in being an informant but is blackmailed into it, and soon has no choice but to continue on the path he chose.

This book was utterly fascinating to read. The thought process for both main characters held me spellbound. Danny loathes how much he prizes the approval from the Drug Kingpin he works for, but recognizes it as a driving force in his life. He has a bigger view of the world than Miller and knows that part of his reluctance to testify is because he doesn’t want to lose that approval. Making anyone proud of him was better than nothing. Miller, who has spent his whole life hiding from personal questions both from the outside world and from his internal psyche, can no longer contain the urges and desire he feels. At the same time, his very black and white world is beginning to form shades of gray that make him extremely uncomfortable. That includes his inability to continue to fight his desire for men ... Danny in particular.

This is not an easy story. Told in real time and as unfolding memories for both men but mostly Danny, I found myself absorbed in the lives these men lead prior to meeting. As you can imagine, any story involving drugs, hit men, FBI, ex-wives, fiances, friends, colleagues, district attorneys, cell mates, ex-lovers and a plethora of underlying social, economic and ethical threads is bound to make you think. Since all of the people in Miller’s life have a one-dimensional view of him, when he reacts emotionally for the first time, he becomes three dimensional to those around him. This happens in ways that are so surprising to everyone, including Miller, that only life changing decisions can come from that discovery. When Danny realizes he is more than just the mistakes in his past, he is able to see himself in a more realistic and forgiving way.

While Miller and Danny battle their demons and work together to save themselves, they also find that they completely lose themselves in ways never anticipated. I cried and cried during some of the internal ramblings and confessions they made to themselves and to each other. I haven’t read a book where I wanted the two men to find a way back to each other this badly for a long time.

Another wonderful aspect is that the ending isn’t overly easy. There is no 'magic bullet’ that solves all their problems and sets them up to ride off into the sunset with no more worries or cares. The resolutions to the bigger issues are realistic and the final pages are cathartic without being saccharin.

In addition to the wonderful story telling, there is also some very erotically written but sensual scenes between these men as well.

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