Rainbow Reviews

BOOK BLURB:
At a time when what a gay male relationship is and can be is radically changing, Bringing Perfect Back offers a refreshing and personable look at everything facing the modern gay man, whether he's searching for a partner or committed to one. From the early stages of how to present himself and how to know what will work for him, to taking sensible advantage of the Internet as well as the world at large as he ventures out into the serious romance market, Bringing Perfect Back walk him through the beginnings with solid counsel and down-to-earth humor. Then, all the major and minor snags of the gay relationship in action get a thorough going-over. From wrangling over bills, old boyfriends, sexual passions lessening, down to the bare bones of surviving infidelity and opting for marriage. Bringing Perfect Back looks hard at each hurdle the gay man is sure to face with understanding, with candor, and always with an eye out for the real success of his relationships.

BOOK REVIEW:
"Bringing Perfect Back" seems a less than ideal title for Patrick Perrine’s very well written gay man’s dating self-help book. Clearly the book is more dedicated to "Finding Perfect In The First Place" or "Learning From Your Past Relationships How To Do Better In Your Next Relationships." This focus is indicated well by the subtitle, "The Gay Man’s Relationship Guide to Finding His Perfect Partner."

The book is really a dating guide and in many unfortunate cases a lightly disguised promotional for one particular gay dating web site, which is mentioned numerous times in the text. The author would seem much more authoritative if all the references to specific web sites and services had been left for an appendix or a resources guide. True, the author does encourage readers to shop around for the best fit in an online dating service, but then provides strong praise (and a URL) for, really, just the one.

That aside, the advice in the book seems to be genuinely good, and addresses how male/male relationships develop and how they are changing due to the very current, and very new, public awareness of long-term gay coupling. The writing is very enjoyable, with a strong sense of grammar and simultaneously a very relaxed and "conversational" feel.

Delving into both online and real world dating, "Bringing Perfect Back" explains the joys and pitfalls of male/male dating, focusing specifically on men who are genuinely interested in finding the “perfect” long-term partner. It provides a good set of instructions for navigating the experience of meeting and getting to know other men with the intention of finding the most perfect one possible.

After the discussion of meeting and gradually building a solid relationship, however, the book seems to wander into less solidly explored territory. What seems to be lacking in later chapters, more than anything else, is any reference to real, studied examples of how successful long-term male relationships actually work. The best example on this topic would be the sadly outdated 1985 book "The Male Couple: How Relationships Develop," which has a much more grounded set of case study examples of long-term male relationships, and would seem to be a better source of advice for existing relationships than "Bringing Perfect Back." "The Male Couple" provides real case studies of numerous male/male relationships and how they all seem(ed) fit into different “stages” at different times in their development. Still, as "Bringing Perfect Back" states, things have changed in very recent past, and how our relationships operate may also be due for reconsideration.

So for men who are honestly seeking to find the love of their life, or for men who want to move on from their past relationships, this book comes recommended. For men in existing long-term relationships, I would suggest pairing and comparing "Bringing Perfect Back" with "The Male Couple."

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